The newspapers recently reported that more employees are hiring ex-offenders.  Since 2007, there has been a 69 per cent increase in the number of employers, totalling 2,700, who volunteer to hire ex-offenders.  I thought these employers should be applauded.  What if they misbehave at work?  Will they steal the company’s money?  Will they fight?  It is likely that such fears have crossed their minds. They chose, however, to put aside their fears and give them a second chance.  This is called kindness, mercy and grace.

The Bible also exhorts us to be merciful: “Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.”  (Luke 6:36).  Why should we be merciful?  First, we ourselves need mercy.  You, just like others and these ex-offenders, will one day make a mistake.  The day will definitely come because we human beings are born with a sinful nature (Rom 3:23) and will sin against God and man.  When that day comes, I believe you will want others to give you another chance and to forgive you.  Imagine after you have regretted your actions, others continue to condemn you, despise you and think of you as incorrigible and regard you as an outcast.  I believe you will feel very miserable and will wish others to give you another chance.  Hence, just as you would like others to be kind to you, be kind and merciful to not only ex-offenders but also to those who have offended you, whether they are your relatives, friends or brothers and sisters in the Lord.

Second, the Bible says: “Blessed are the merciful for they shall receive mercy” (Matt 5:7).  God is observing our behavior.  If you are unkind to others, when you commit a wrong, God will also not forgive you.  If you, however, choose to be kind and merciful and forgive others, God who is continually observing our hearts, will be merciful to you on the day you do something grievous.  When you are kind and gracious to a person, he may not appreciate your kindness.  He may even heap hurt upon hurt.  Is it, then, not worth the mercy you showed him?  He may not repay your kindness but God will.  Therefore be kind to others.

Third, if God had not finished His work on that person, why should you treat him as if the work is complete?  In other words, if God is still patiently working on that person and has not given up on him, why should you?

There will be people who intentionally say or do things to hurt you.  There are others, however, who may have hurt you unintentionally.  There are several things you can do.  First, if you can, learn to put that incident aside.  A sign that you have really put it aside is when you continue to talk and work with him as if this incident never took place.  Tell yourself: “Jesus has forgiven me an uncountable number of times, I must always forgive him too.”

If, however, you cannot put this matter to rest for some reasons and you feel very uncomfortable about what happened, then you should speak to him about this matter in private.  His reaction to you can take several forms.  For most Christians, I believe, he will be glad to make up with you.  Hence, tell him honestly and gently about how you felt.  If he realizes that he is wrong, I believe he will, as a child of God who has God’s holy life in him, apologise.  It could also be that you, and not him, were wrong which caused him to say or do that thing which displeased you.  For that, humbly apologise to him.  Of course, it could also be a misunderstanding.  In which case, you will be glad that you took the effort to clarify.  It can also turn out that despite you thinking that he is at fault, he does not agree.  This could lead to another argument.  If this were to happen, let me suggest this: Since it seems to be a case where he honestly believes that he is not in the wrong and is thus not intentionally sinning against you or the Lord, let the matter rest.  If indeed he is wrong, let God tell him so in God’s time.  For now, continue to love him unconditionally.