Caring for a child is a fearful duty because a child has a soul which never dies. This soul will either spend eternity in heaven or in hell. Yes, whether or not they are saved into heaven is predestined by God “before the creation of the world” (Eph 1:4). That said, it is also true that whether they enter heaven or hell is a decision our children need to make—they can freely choose heaven or hell. It is also very true, in a practical sense and as years of observations show, that parents play a very major role in helping them choose wisely: to choose heaven and not hell. The years of (good or bad) influence parents exert on children steer decision making. Every major decision (including whether or not to believe in Jesus) is made after years and years of parental guidance and influence and not simply at that point of decision. How so? One mother lamented that her son chose a life partner who is undesirable. But I am not surprised: the child grew up in a home which would have steered the child in that (undesirable) direction. This includes the values that the parents emphasised verbally or non-verbally, the way they prioritise time or spend money, what they favour and praise, and what they dislike and degrade (and berate). Every time a parent does this, the child does not only notice, they feel deeply

the parents’ likes or dislikes—and they follow. They do the same. They breathe in deeply these values that you teach them non-verbally. So, for years they breathe in these values breathed out by you—the parents. What do they become? They become a second “you.” As the proverb goes, “monkey see, monkey do.” Children do not do what they are told, but what you do (not say). They learn your example. This is a well proven and observed fact. That is why bad-tempered parents will breed bad-tempered children. Dear parents, their final destination in hell or heaven, in a practical sense, is decided by you! Surely, you want your child in heaven. But you must do your due diligence.

Hence, I worry about parents or grandparents (who care for children) who are not exemplary Christians. If you do not do your Quiet Time, habitually miss worship or take worship lightly, do not attend Sunday School, do not fellowship with Christians, compromise on the things of God, you can be sure, yes, very sure that your children will become like you. They become like you not now, but years later when they are free to make their own decisions. This is also when they can no longer be corrected. They are resolutely on their way to hell. You are the practical cause of their destruction.

Dear father and mother, there is only a short window of opportunity (because children are only teachable for a limited time span) to train your child in godliness which “has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come” (1 Tim 4:8). The most precious thing you can give your child is godliness. This is your main responsibility. If you give your child everything but not godliness, you have failed as a parent. “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Prov 22:6 ESV). First, set a good example. They must see godliness in you, especially, in what you value. Show it by the way you spend time and make decisions. Second, father (fathers, be present! Children hold high respects for fathers) and mother must have daily Family Worship: (1) Read the Bible to children daily. (2) Sing a short song/hymn. (3) Share thanksgiving items and prayer needs. (4) Pray with and for them. By how you pray, teach them how to pray. Share with them your needs and ask them to pray for you. Third, teach them to trust God by learning to make sacrifices for God. If you want to challenge them to give to God, make them give a substantial amount which would hurt their pocket. Tell them why Christians give. You must serve the Lord in church. Children notice and will emulate your example. I urge you, do not give your children the impression that it is alright to miss Sunday worship or Sunday School. Make sure you attend your Adult Sunday School. Do not allow your child to miss their Children Sunday School. Dear fathers and mothers, “A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish son brings grief to his mother” (Prov 10:1). Give your child the most important thing: Jesus, eternal life and godliness, and your godly example.