I will extract and highlight the key points from this book over a series of weeklies starting with this and prayerfully this will help parents in raising up God fearing and honouring children who will walk in God’s path and be a joy and delight for parents and for God’s glory.
Many parents fear when their children reach the teens. Stories have been told of how they become rebellious and almost uncontrollable. Children at a tender age can throw tantrums and shows signs of ungodly behaviour though they may have been brought up in a Christian environment with regular bible time. Some parents almost give up and all seem hopeless. They are unable to engage and raise children to be obedient and God-fearing. Some would resort do it in Frank Sinatra style “I did it my way”. In doing so, they would have missed out critical principles and knowledge in raising children God’s way and not our way.
However, Tedd in his book suggests that all is not lost. God in his infinite wisdom has given us His manual, the Bible, to guide us in raising our children. God has given us a revelation that is robust and complete. Children, parents, family life, Godly values, training, nurture, discipline – these are what we need to equip ourselves for parenting.
The first principle is that parents must exercise authority over their children, just as God exercise authority over us. Even so, we are to be kind and sacrificial, to the point of being willing to lay down our lives for our children. The purpose is not to hold our children under our power but to empower them to be self-controlled people living under the authority of God.
Jesus is an example of this. The one who commands you also possesses all authority, yet he came as a servant. He is a ruler who serves, and a servant who rules. His authority is sovereign but kind at the same time. In John 13:3, Jesus washes the disciples’ feet as an example of a ruler servant.
In the same way, parents are exhorted to exercise authority. You must demand obedience from your children because they are called by God to obey and honor parents. We must exercise authority not as a cruel taskmaster but as one who truly loves them.
We must exercise authority with love, selflessness and with our children’s interests at heart. When the child sees their love, respect and care, he knows his parents care and understand him. He will then know that they are committed to helping the child succeed. With that, the child will not resist the authority that is kind and selfless.
The relationship between a parent and a child should be that of a shepherd and a sheep. His parent is his guide. The shepherding process helps a child understand himself and the world in which he lives in. We must lead the child in the path of discovery and not merely by pure instruction. We must shepherd his thoughts and help him to be discerning and wise. It involves investing our life in our child, in open and honest communication that unfolds the meaning and purpose of life. It is not simply direction but direction to where there is self-discovery and sharing.
Proverbs 13:20: “He who walks with the wise become wise.” As a wise parent, your objective is not simply to discuss but to demonstrate the freshness and vitality of life lived in integrity toward God and your family. Parenting is shepherding the heart of your child in the ways of God’s wisdom.
Children are an heritage from God. As parents, we have an obligation to exercise that God-given authority to bring up our children well, that our children will one day grow up to be God fearing and be a source of joy for parents, a great asset to our family, community, society and country.