Communication not only disciplines.  It also disciples.  It shepherds your children in the ways of God.  Like the teaching of Deuteronomy 6, this full-orbed communication occurs while lying down, waking, rising, walking, and sitting.  Parents are often too busy to talk unless something is wrong.  A regular habit of talking prepares the way for talking in strained situations.  You will never have the hearts of your children if you talk with them only when something has gone wrong.

Honest, thorough, truly biblical communication is expensive.  Insightful and penetrating conversation takes time.  Children require both time and flexibility.  Children do not pour their hearts out or open themselves up on a demand schedule.  A wise parent talks when the kids are in the mood.  Every so often they will ask a question, make a comment, and reveal some little aspect of their heart.  In those times, when their mood is right, when they express some interest, when their conscience is stirred, you need to talk.  This may require dropping everything else to seize a critical moment.

You must become a great listener.  You will miss precious opportunities when you only half listen to your children.  The best way you can train your children to be active listeners is be actively listening to them.  Some parents think listening is what you do between opportunities.  During listening times they don’t listen at all.  They are deciding what to say.  Don’t be such a parent.  The proverbs remind us that the fool does not delight in understanding but in airing their opinion (Proverbs 18:2).

Good communication is expensive in other areas.  The physical and spiritual energy that searching conversation requires often seems overwhelming.  Parents sometimes miss valuable opportunities because they feel too tired to follow through.  We began to experience this physical dimension very clearly when our children became teens.  We had been in the habit of putting the little ones to bed in the early evening.  This gave us time for conversation.  But with teens came later nights.  The wise parent talks when the kids are ready to talk!

Proper communication requires mental stamina.  You must keep your thoughts focused.  You must avoid the temptation to chase unimportant matters.  Questions that have not been answered must be posed in new and fresh ways.

Communication is the art of expressing in godly ways what is in my heart and of hearing completely and understanding what another thinks and feels. Home is the place for developing these skills.  What a great advantage the child has who has learned to articulate his thoughts and to understand others.  Every time you tenderly draw the deepest wishes, hopes, thoughts, ideas, and desires out of our children, you become an example of how to serve in this important area of relationship.  God calls you parents to raise your child in the fear and admonition of the LORD.  You cannot do so without investing your time in a life of sensitive communication in which you help your child understand life and God’s ways.