Paul instructs you in 1 Thessalonians 5 to modify your speech to suit the need of the moment, “Warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, and be patient with everyone.”  (I Thessalonians 5:14).  Paul’s point is that differing conditions in the hearer require differing forms of speaking.  You do great harm when you fail to discern what type of communication is appropriate to the moment.

Encouragement is designed to inspire and fill with hope and courage. When your child is disappointed and may find things looking hopeless at times.  In moments like these, you need to encourage your child.   You can help your child assess the reasons for disappointment.  You need to help them understand the promises of God. You can encourage your child to find courage, hope, and inspiration from God who draws near to the broken-hearted and contrite.

Sometimes a child needs to be brought into conformity with a standard.  Correction remedies something wrong.  Correction gives your child an insight into what is wrong and what may be done to correct the problem.  Correction helps your child to understand God’s standard and teaches them to assess their behaviour against that standard.  A rebuke censures behaviour.  Sometimes your child must experience your sense of alarm, shock, and dismay at what he has done and said.  For example, we have always taught our children that there are some necessary limits on free speech.  We should never tell people we hate them or wish death or injury upon them.  Such statements would draw a stern rebuke.  We would say with evident alarm and indignation.  “It is wrong for you to speak those words.  I never want to hear you speak in such a way again.”  This would be followed, of course, by other forms of communication, such as instruction, encouragement, and prayer.

Entreaty is a communication that is earnest and intense.  It involves pleading, soliciting, urging, and even begging.  It is not, however, the begging of a beggar.  It is rather the earnest pleading of a father or mother who, understanding his child, the ways of God, and the extremity of the moment, is willing to bare his soul in earnest pleading for his child to act in wisdom and faith.  It is a special kind of communication that is reserved for use in cases of great importance.

Instruction is the process of providing a lesson, a precept, or information that will help your children to understand their world.  As a parent you are dealing with young people who have large gaps in their understanding of life. They need information about themselves and others.  They need to understand the world of spiritual reality and the principles of the kingdom of God.  King Solomon’s proverbs are a rich source of information about life.  The child who begins to understand Proverbs’ characterisation of the sluggard, the wise man, the fool, the mocker, and so forth will develop discernment about life.  Your conversation with your children will take many forms.  The subtle and rich nuances of each of the forms of communication must be reflected in your communication with your children.  Each of the element will be interwoven with the others to provide a rich tapestry of communication.