The author emphasises the importance of parents setting concrete training objectives for our children. Parents should know our child’s strengths and weaknesses. We should design training objectives which will strengthen the child’s weakness and encourage the child’s strength. Often than not, we spend much time having fun with our children and neglecting the more important task of training our children.

Many parents have not sat down and discussed short term and long-term goals for our children. Parents should spend much time strategising and training our children. Much thought should be given to devising methods and approaches that would focus correction on that of attitudes of heart rather than on behaviour. Sadly, the author says, most correction occurs as a by-product of children being an embarrassment or an irritation.

Our parenting should include shepherding the child’s heart, and that should direct the child in the ways of God.

“For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just, so that the Lord will bring about for Abraham what he has promised him.” Gen 18:9

Genesis 18:9 calls fathers to direct their children to keep the way of the Lord by doing what what is right and just. Being a parent means working on behalf of God to provide direction for our children. Directors are in charge. It involves knowing and helping our children to understand God’s standard for children’s behaviour. It means teaching them they are sinners by nature. It includes pointing them to the Saviour and grace of God shown in Christ’s life and death for sinners.

At an early age, each time when our children do something wrong, it gives us the opportunity to share the gospel. We will share with our children about God, sin, death, hell and salvation. We make it a point to make sure that they understand their sinful nature and, that only Jesus Christ alone can forgive and be their Saviour. We will always make it a point to make sure that they understand their sin and point them to the gospel and to Jesus Christ for their salvation.

The author reminds us that our discipline is not you working on your agenda, venting your wrath toward your children. Rather, it is you coming as God’s representative, bringing the reproofs of life to your son or daughter. You only cloud matters when the objective in discipline is to express your displeasure over their behaviour, rather than God’s displeasure with rebellion against His ordained authority.

The author reminds us that anger does not have a legitimate place in discipline and correction. James 1:19-20 says

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”

The apostle James could not be clearer. The righteous life that God desires is never the product of uncontrolled anger. Human anger may teach your children to fear you. They may even behave better but it will not bring about biblical righteousness.

Any change in behaviour that is a product of such anger is not going to move your children toward God. It moves them away from God. It moves them in the direction of idolatry of fearing man. It is no wonder James makes emphasis by saying: “Dear brothers, take note of this …” in the text above.

If you correct and discipline your children because God mandates it, then you need not couple the task with your anger. In correction, it is not showing anger for their offences; rather, it is reminding them that their sinful behaviour offends God. It is bringing his censure for sin to the subjects of his realm. He is the king. The children must obey.