Our duty as parents goes beyond just providing the basic needs for our children. God has given us a mandate to direct and discipline our children. Often, we let our children decide; be it clothing, schedule, social relations, freedom of speech, food and so forth. The child soon learns that he is the decision maker, and that the parents are there to provide options. By the time, the child is six, eight or ten, he is his own boss. By age 13, the child is out of control. Parents can conjure, plead, urge (in frustration and anger), scream or threaten, but the child is his own boss. The parent has long since given up the decision-making prerogative in the child’s life. How did it happen? It crept in at a very early age as the parent made every decision a smorgasbord of choices for the child to decide.
Some may argue. “Children only learn to be decision makers as parents allow them to make decisions.” This misses the most important issue. Children will be good decision makers as they observe faithful parents modeling and instructing wise direction and decision making in their behalf.
The child needs to understand that critical to decision-making, is to understand what it is to be under authority first. Teach your child that God loves them so much that He gave them parents to be the kind authority to teach and lead them. Children learn to be wise decision makers by learning from you.
Parents must be willing to be take charge. You should do this with a benevolent and gracious manner but you must be an authority for your children.
The author reminds us that parenting goes beyond just providing basic food, shelter and child care. It is worse when many parents “outsource” their responsibility as a parent to our childcare giver. This ought not to be so. God has called parents to a task more profound than that of a caregiver. Parents are tasked by God to shepherd our child. Shepherding a child involves training and it is not done out of convenience. Rather, it is an arduous task. Training and shepherding is on-going whenever you are with the child. Whether walking, waking, talking or resting, we must be involved in helping your child to understand life, himself and his needs from a biblical perspective. Deuteronomy 6:6.7.
“These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”
In order to shepherd your child, we must have intimacy of relationship. You must understand what makes your child ticks. If you are going to direct them in the way of the Lord, as Genesis 18 calls you to. “For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just, so that the Lord will bring about for Abraham what he has promised him.”
Parents must know our children and their inclinations. This task requires more than just simply providing adequate food and clothing and shelter. It is my prayer that God will grant parents strength and courage to do the job. It is our duty to teach God’s way to our child. God mandates and authorizes us to do the job. It is not a choice but a mandate for parents to act with God-given authority. We should not shun our duties as parents and the parenting task goes beyond just providing the basic necessities to our child. It involves directing, teaching and correcting our child in God’s way.