We may have set goals for our children in areas such as skills development, salvation, family worship, good education, character development and social behaviour. The author wants us to re-think our motive in setting these often-legitimate goals. I shall highlight two areas on skills development and well-behaved children, which the author wants us to re-engineer our objectives in goal-setting for our children.

What is the problem with having your children involved in a broad range of activities? Many parents who would never allow their children to attend public school will send them to dance classes. Parents will refuse to let their children be influenced by secular humanism in school but will expose them to unbiblical ideas of beauty in dance class. When the author asks the parents why they put their children to these classes, they explain that it helps their child’s sense of self-worth. Are there any passages that make the development of self-esteem a biblically-mandated goal? Shouldn’t we be more concerned with the accurate sense of self? Is it biblical to build self-esteem on a child’s capacity to develop a physical skill? Are we not encouraging pride that comes from the capacity to perform?

Most coaches do not teach the little athletes who come in first in competitions, to give thanks to God for the strength and endurance to compete and win in a competition.

Many of these activities teach your children to trust in themselves when Scripture says that those who trust in themselves are fools, whose hearts turn from God. The self-love and self-trust our culture encourages always turns the heart away from God.

What values do you teach by the sacrifices needed to practice each day? Many families who always make time out for children’s team practice are unable to organize family life around regular times of family bible reading and prayer. What values are taught? What values are taught when the Lord’s Day worship plays second fiddle to badminton practice or swim meet? All this because children need to build self-esteem!

From a biblical perspective, you should teach your children to care for and exercise their bodies as an expression of stewardship of God’s gifts. Abilities should be developed because God has given his stewards talents and special capacities. Skills, which would make your children more able to serve and open channels of ministry to others, should be encouraged.

What about raising well-behaved children? You cannot use Miss Manner’s approach because it is simply an elaborate means of pleasant social manipulation. From a biblical perspective, manners are an expression and application of the duty of loving one’s neighbour as oneself. It is a matter of teaching children to imitate the Lord Jesus’ self-sacrifice as set forth in Philippians 2.

When we use “please” and “thank you”, we are looking out for the interests of others. They become an expression of biblical love. Waiting to eat until all are served is not just an empty social convention; it is a way of showing consideration for those around you. Good behaviour must be rooted in those rare qualities that the apostle Paul saw in Timothy. “I have no one else like him, who will show genuine concern for your welfare. For everyone looks out for their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ” (Philippians 2:20-21).

The author stresses the importance of re thinking our goals in the light of the chief end of man – that is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.