Parents want children to be successful so they can “do well” and live happy, comfortable lives. This wish for success manifests in different forms for different people, but every parent wants successful and happy children.
There are many ways parents try to produce this success. Some parents involve their children in a broad way of activities ranging from swimming, soccer, gymnastics, dance, track and field, and piano lessons. These skills are not evil and may have their place in the children’s lives. But, is the measure of the parents the number of activities provided for a child? Is the measure of the child the number of skills developed?
Even if this frenetic pace of activity could prove beneficial, have you no concern as a Christian parent for the values implied and taught by the coaches and instructions of these activities?
Will involvement in these activities have biblical content? Will they receive biblical instruction in an accurate self-image, sportsmanship, loyalty, poise, endurance, perseverance, friendship, integrity, and respect for authority? Clearly, we must understand what success is. Will true success depend on the skills, which these activities teach? What is a biblical definition of success?
Some succumb to the pressure of raising well-behaved kids. Parents help their children to develop poise. We teach them how to converse and socialise. We want children who possess social graces. We want them to be able to make guests comfortable. We want them to be able to respond with grace under pressure. We know that these skills are necessary to be successful in our world. It pleases us to see these social graces in our children.
Yet, having well-behaved children is not a worthy goal. It is a great secondary benefit of biblical child rearing but an unworthy goal. You cannot expect your children to please someone else. Every parent faces the pressure of having to correct a son or daughter because others expect it. If you focus on well-behaved children, then you have failed to address the heart of the child. The focus would then be on what others think rather than what God desires.
What goal is broad enough and flexible enough to be suitable to all stages of child development? What general biblical objectives will guide and focus your expectation of life and therefore the training of your children? What is a worthy biblical goal? In the shorter catechism, what is the chief end of man? The chief end of man is to glorify and enjoy him. You must equip your child to function in a godly manner in a culture that has already abandoned the knowledge of God.
You should not teach them to use their abilities, aptitudes, talents and intelligence to make their lives better without regard of God. You would then turn them away from God. Our objective in every context must be to set a biblical world view for your children. From the earliest days they must be taught that they are creatures made in the image of God – made for God. They must learn that they will only “find themselves” as they find Him. Your child must be able to see that real living is experienced when he stands before God and say “Whom have I in heaven but you and being with you I desire nothing on earth” (Psalm 73:5). If this is what you want for your children, then you must ensure that the content of everyday life fits this objective.