The author stresses the importance of shepherding a child’s heart, for out of the heart comes the issues of life.  

Matthew 15:18-20 “But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person.  For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander.  These are what defile a person. But to eat with unwashed hands does not defile anyone.” 

The author stresses the importance of not addressing the behaviour of a child but the attitude of the child that come from within the heart.  Ask not “what” but seek to understand the “why” behind the child’s behaviour.  Bring the gospel to the child by addressing the issues of the heart.  The child needs to know that he is a sinner.  Psalm 58:3: “Even from birth the wicked go astray; from the womb they are wayward, spreading lies.” Psalm 51:5: “Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.”

It is critical to address the sinful nature of a child’s heart and point the child to his creator God and to Jesus Christ as his only solution for his sin problems.  When the child realises his problem with sin and accepts Jesus Christ as his Lord and Saviour, a new life begins and the child will have a new heart.  The child is now a born-again believer with the ability to do right with a changed heart. 

Parenting is about shepherding the heart for out of the heart comes the issues of life.  Proverbs 4:23: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” 

There are many factors which can shape and influence a child’s character.  The author reminds us that providing a conducive environment does not necessarily produce godly children.  The child is responsible and can choose to obey or disobey.  Jeremiah 2:13: “My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water.”  It is important that we provide a good environment for a child to develop godly character.  More importantly, we as parents need to shepherd the heart of our child for out of the heart comes the issues of life.  The author suggests two techniques that we can use to shepherd our child’s heart – rich communication and the use of the rod. 

Rich communication helps the child understand himself, God’s world, the word of God, how sin works in the sinful heart, how the gospel works and meet their profound need.  It involves understanding their motivation, wants, needs, wishes and desires.  It is a multi-faceted rich communication.  However, it is costly and we need to catch the moment when our child is willing to open his heart to share the innermost fears and desires of his or her heart.  In such instances, we should drop everything and devote our time to understand and help our children understand the real issues of life.  Point them to God’s Word and God himself as his sole solution to his problems. 

There are certain issues of a child where communication does not work.  God has designed the rod for a purpose.  We need to exercise the rod with love to drive out the issues of a child’s heart.  “Shepherding The Heart” by Tedd Tripp is a book strongly recommended for parents or future parents.