“Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labour in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain. In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat for he grants sleep to those he loves. Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior, are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.”
I have chosen this psalm as a guiding principle for my marriage and in the building of my house. I am constantly reminded that unless our Almighty Creator God build the house, I build in vain. God has not left us alone to build the house but has given us a manual. We need a manual to operate a machine so that we can operate the machine efficiently and effectively. In the same way, God gave us a manual, His Word the Bible, with clear instructions on how we should build the house. It is important that we follow and obey God’s way in building our house. Oftentimes, we like to do things our own way and just like the famous singer Frank Sinatra who sang the song “I did it my way”. Doing things our own way without God, would lead to disaster, a broken marriage and a broken home.
God, through his Word, has instructed us clearly and concisely what the roles of a husband and a wife are. In no uncertainty, the husband is instructed to love his wife as he loves himself. In Ephesians 5:25a, it says “Husbands, love your wives”, and again in Ephesians 5:28, it says “In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” The husband shows love to his wife by his sacrificial giving and by always having his wife’s interests at heart. The husband will not love by paying lip service, but, is to show his love in thought and action. Indeed, it is very easy to talk only. As a husband who truly loves his wife, the husband should walk the talk.
On the other hand, the wife is to submit to her husband. Ephesians 5:22-24 “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. “
The apostle Paul in his book to Ephesus likened the relationship between a husband and wife to that of Jesus Christ and the church. Jesus Christ loves the church and laid down his life for the church. The church submits to Jesus Christ as LORD. In the same way, the husband loves his wife and the wife submits to the husband.
The second part of this Psalm talks about children. Children are a heritage from the LORD. As parents, we are not to lord over our children. Instead, we are instructed to bring up our children in the fear and knowledge of our LORD and Saviour Jesus Christ.
Ephesians 6:4 “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” In Proverbs 22:6, it says, “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.
In Deuteronomy 4:9, it says “Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.”
It is in no uncertain terms, that God tells us that parents are to teach and train our children in the ways of the LORD. It is our duty as parents to bring our children to the knowledge of salvation grace. Share with them the gospel and lead them to salvation through Jesus Christ at an early age.
With the demands of our modern age of science and technology and the fast pace of life in Singapore, in the wake of Singaporean’s “kiasuism”, it is all too easy for us to leave God out of the equation in the pursuit of worldly excellence. Let us walk by faith, trusting that as we put God first, God promises that our labour in building the house will not be in vain. Let us not allow the legitimate pursuit of academic excellence, hinder our children from going to Sunday worship, fellowship and Sunday School.
It is imperative and critical to know that “Unless the LORD builds the house, we labour in vain that builds it.”
As husband, wife and parents, we should take time to reflect and resolve to correct any deviation from our LORD’s commands. Let us resolve to set things right. There is no better place to start then from our home. Let us set aside time for family bible reading and prayer time. Seize every opportunity to attend Sunday worship, Christian fellowship, church prayer meeting and Sunday school.
Let us commit our house and family to the Lord. By doing this, our Lord promises us that God alone will build our house so that all our labour will not be in vain.