“Rise in couples who split within five years” is reported as one of the top news in the Straits Times.  It reported the first five years of marriage are proving a challenge for more Singapore couples – that is when one partner may stray, and a rising number of marriages break down.  The number of marriages which ended in divorce in the first five years of marriage rose from 272 in 1980 to 1268 in 2012.  Those married for five to nine years continued to make up the largest group of divorcing couples.  The total number of divorces in 1980 was 1551 and in 2012 the figure was 6893.  One of the main reasons why marriages break down is unfaithfulness.  “Infidelity is the No 1 reason for divorce and it is happening early in the marriage,” said senior divorce lawyer, Tan Siew Kim.

Jesus talked about divorce with the Pharisees in Matthew 19:3-9.  “Some Pharisees came to him to test him.  They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”  “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, they are no longer two, but one flesh.  Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate .”  “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”  Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard.  But it was not this way from the beginning.  I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”  Jesus clearly stated that in the beginning, our creator God ordained marriage between a male and female as husband and wife.  Divorce was not in God’s vocabulary.  God had strongly worded the sacred bonding of a husband and wife as one flesh.  God specifically gave the instruction that what God has joined together, no man should put asunder.  When Moses made allowance for divorce, it was due to a hardened heart.  It was not meant to be in the beginning of God’s plan. Marriage is meant to be permanent, and the married couple is to defend so as not to break the marriage.

Divorce is man’s own convenience.  It breaks God’s sacred intent of marriage to be life long.  We made this commitment in our marriage vow – “till death do us part.”  As husband and wife, we should take effort to spend time with each other.  What is a better way to stay together than to pray together?  To you as the husband, love your wife.  Love with action and not just by paying lip service.  Action speaks louder than words.  Do a kind deed for your wife.  Be observant, gentle, supportive and lend a shoulder for her to lean on.  Be her tower of strength.  Remember her birthday and your wedding anniversary.  To you as the wife, be submissive to your husband.  Be accommodating to the idiosyncrasies of your husband’s behavior.  Make a nice meal for your husband.  Nag less and love more.

Date one another for a walk.  Have a nice meal and a vocation.  Spend more time in communicating and understanding each other.  Make no provision for anyone to break the marriage.  Be alert and guard your marriage zealously.  Do not go alone when meeting someone of the opposite sex.  Above all, have our creator God in the marriage equation.  For “unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labour in vain” (Ps 127:1).  Let’s pray that our marriage will last through our earthly journey and is so strong that no third party can put the marriage asunder.