According to last week’s Straits Times, a teenage girl’s father and uncle were sentenced to 32 months of jail for beating up her boyfriend in a cemetery. His daughter was only 14 years old when she was dating her boyfriend. It was mentioned that the father disapproved of his daughter’s relationship with her boyfriend. He suspected that the youth, a full-time national serviceman, had introduced his daughter to glue-sniffing. He also suspected that the couple were having sex. The girl ran away from home and met her boyfriend. While they were walking in the streets early next morning, her father, uncle and two other men appeared and attacked the youth. They later took him to a cemetery in Jalan Bahar where they hit the youth with a baton and threatened him with a samurai sword.

I believe that if the above would befall on our own children, we too will be very angry. However, does it justify the vengeance meted on the youth? We will always encounter incidences that enrage us and make us feel trespassed, be it in the public, at work, home or even at the church. This case teaches us a few lessons.

First, shouldn’t the father reflect upon himself and assume part of the responsibility for his daughter’s behaviour before putting blame on her boyfriend?  When children do not want to share their problems with their parents or when they have an addiction to some bad habits, it is sometimes co-related to the parents’ own bad behaviour, insensitivity to their feelings or inability to discipline the children. Whatever the reason is, my point is before we judge, we must first reflect upon ourselves whether we should also assume part of the responsibility. The Lord Jesus reminds us, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”(Luke 6:41).

Jesus termed these people as “hypocrite” (Luke 6:42). In fact, sometimes children behave badly because we as parents refuse to correct ourselves, thus we are not able to guide our children well. So the Lord said: “First take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” (Luke 6:42). Do not get me wrong, some parents do their best to discipline their children but the kids just do not listen. In such a situation, however, we have at least obeyed the Lord. It is not my focus to discuss about parenting theories today. What I want to emphasize is that when we encounter something that enrages us, we have to honestly reflect upon ourselves if we are beyond reproach.

Second, it is expected of the father to be angry with his daughter’s boyfriend. It is, however, too brutal for him to resort to such means to punish this youth. He could have sought justification via lodging a police report against this youth for having sexual relations with his underage daughter. But because of his own brashness, this father received a heavy sentence for his actions and made himself a meaningless sacrifice.

Third, this case aside, when Christians get offended by others, we cannot repay evil with evil. God has commanded us, saying: “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you”(Luke 6:27-28).  I know it is difficult for us to treat our “enemies” well.

You might ask: “He hurt me, why should I be good to him?” The Lord cited a few reasons. First, although you are children of God, but should you be like the average person, to repay evil with evil, how different are you from a non-believer of Jesus? Second, since God is your Father, you should be like your Father in heaven and be compassionate andkind to the wicked. Third, if you are willing to love the unlovable, you deserveto be children of God, then your reward will be great (Luke 6:32-36).

Hence, the next time when you feel you are unfairly treated, ask and be reminded:  Have I been responsible?  Is there a more rational way to handle that matter?  Repay evil with kindness.